GreggysBlog

Also known as the weekend I officially learned I am now OLD!

A big deal was made about the 2004 MTV Music Awards in Miami. A hype machine like MTV needs no assistance, but still it got plenty. From the National and Local Media.
The entire weekend was crammed with parties, just as Miami Beach was crowded with revelers delighting in these parties.

The center of festivities on this particular evening seemed to be the club MANSION of which I have written before: See Blog 4/7/2004. As usual the entrance to the club was packed with even normally VIP customers hanging around out front trying to hustle their way in and "the other sheep in the flock" were just hopelessly waiting in line! There was no way I was getting anywhere near that scene. Well not unless like the last time I spotted a back or side entrance door unsecure! Still with my clamdigger shorts and flip flops, among the fashionably hip, I think that I might have stuck out a little!

Turns out I didnt miss too much, as my investigation revealed a large collection of wanna-bes, and paparazzi gathered in the back alley behind the club at a normally non-descript exit door. Only the presence of police barracades this time hinted that something else might be going on.

Suddenly a the swarm of people came to life, a buzzing and swirling calderon of activity marked the pending departure of one of the MTV coveted stars from the club.
I decided to put my mocking "the flock" aside for a bit and pressed in further to get a glimpse of what had the gaggle gobbling. What I saw was a couple of large black men, yelling and pushing the crowd back so another couple of black dudes, and ladies could get into a limo. Girls were screaming, flashes going off, people yelling. It was definately some sort of celeberty. Of course since I am no longer an avid MTV watcher, I had no idea about what everyone was yealling about.

I asked one of the onlookers there near me, who that was. "Usher" her and her girlfriends yelled in unison. "Whoa boy" I joked "If people making this kind of fuss over just the Usher imagine when an actual celebrity comes out?" This subtle play on words was completely lost on these girls. "Usher" one of these girls repeated. And I guess the next unintelligent ramblings to come out of their mouths were the lyrics to one of Ushers songs. Hoping that it would jog my memory I guess. I just shook my head, "uhhh I was just kidding you know, trying to be funny". Thats when it dawned on me. I am old and out of touch. To me Usher is just the guy in the movie theater that takes the ticket and tells me "last door on the right" or something.

A few minutes later the commotion of the crowd announced another celeberty departure. Again to me it was just a few black dudes pushing people aside so this other black dude (with nice cornrows, I may add) to get into another limo. I asked a different consortium of ladies who that was. I was again reminded in that snooty, teen age girl, -dont you know anything- tone of voice, "Xhibit!"

Yeah whats there left to say. I wanted to add a letter to the end of his name, "exhibit A" but I knew that my wit would be wasted on the young and awestruck.
Suffice it to say it just made me feel REAL OLD. I mean I thought I was old in the Nineties when the techno music started to take over, now I must be Ancient. An Ancient Greek in South Beach. Yeah then people WONDER WHY I would prefer to spend a weekend evening with the FISHES!

To: ex-Floridians, present Floridians, and future Floridians.

We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the ocean and making two basic meteorological points:

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one.''

Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay in Florida.

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items: HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance.

Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.

So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane Camille, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.

This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my car and 401K.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

"Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Alaska.

"Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.; you should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida" you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.

In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck and remember: it's great living in paradise!

Its Been a crazy couple of days for me, as I kinda got stuck in upstate New York.
See I had taken Monday and Tuesday as Vacation days, figuring that I was
travelling back on Tuesday, then "the Airlines" happened.

I had a 3:30 flight out of Syracuse through Washington to Miami, on UNITED Airlines (oh trust me this isnt a free plug!)

I was there at the airport Tuesday at about 2pm..

After an hour plus of waiting, I was informed that it wasnt so bad that my
flight was late anyway... well I had a 6pm connection through Dulles. No
problem I was told, as it was just a 40 min flight... so at 4:30 when the
plane had still not arrived - and I was concerned about my connection I
was instructed to head back to the ticket counter, to see about arranging
for another flight... so after ANOTHER hour plus, waiting patiently in line watching the same lone attendant, trying to deal with an increasing number of upset
passengers, well its now about 6pm when I am instructed that not to worry
the 3:30 flight I was on was cancelled but the 7:30 flight would be
leaving at 9:30pm, and my connection I asked, I was informed I was already
ticketed on the next available flight out of Washington Dulles to Miami
at 6am Thursday morning!! How nice of them! I asked if they could get me
on another airline...

Well on the surface they said they would, but the last departing flight going into any airport to
connect to Miami was leaving at 6:20pm, and I wouldnt make it. (NOT BECAUSE I WAS WAITING IN LINE FOR TWO HOURS WATCHING ONE ATTENDANT!! - WHOSE FAULT IS THAT!!)
So Instead of spending the night in the terminal in Dulles, I decided to
spend the night back at my sisters place, and they rebooked me for the
10:30 AM flight out the next day Thursday morning.

It was more of the same the next day I went back, Almost an Identical
replay, get to the gate, go through security, plane is late, missed
connection back to the ticket counter (and every time through the security
screening!! We were now all on a first name basis! - yet every time I GET PULLED OUT FOR THAT *SPECIAL* Search!) Happened again with
the 12:30 flight again LATE! I thought United was a pretty good airline!?! Well that was before this exemplary display of customer service.

At
about 3:00 when It was beginnig to look a LOT like Tuesday, I DEMANDED
they put me on a different airline alltogether as I was not going to be
told again that I missed the last flight out to a connecting city since
they were LATE - because of weather or whatever other reason! I was finally
booked on a 5pm flight to Atlanta on Delta and an 8:30pm conection to
Miami. So I finally got out of Syracuse! More delays in Atlanta as my 8:30
flight didnt depart until well after 10pm but at least it left Atlanta! I finally
got in after midnight and another hour to get my luggage and get home! It
was very trying, but I made it! Which is more than I can say if I had decided to try and stay with United. I wonder if the Syracuse to Dulles flight ever wound up leaving Syracuse?

Anyway that was what happened to me the past couple of days, so Sorry if I
missed out on anything, but well like I said, I finally did make it!!